Nervous system regulation, online across Ontario
Work for the gap between knowing you are safe and being able to feel it.
- Online across Ontario
- Secure video
- Free 15-minute call first
- CRPO#17275
- Verified on
This may be the right fit if
- You look calm while your heart is going at a pace nobody else can see
- Small things land like emergencies, while real emergencies sometimes leave you strangely flat
- You say yes while something in you is already objecting
- Sunday evening arrives in your body before it arrives on the calendar
- You can’t always tell the difference between tired and unsafe, so you keep going
None of this is a diagnosis, and you don’t need to identify with all of it. If one line rings true, that’s enough to start a conversation.
Not sure this is the right approach for you?
If something above rings true, that’s enough to start a conversation. Working out which approach makes sense is something we can figure out together. You don’t have to settle that before getting in touch.
Book a free 15-minute callFifteen minutes, free, with nothing to prepare and no obligation to book sessions.
Your nervous system is constantly responding to what is happening around you: tone of voice, facial expression, physical sensations, your surroundings, and your sense of whether something feels safe or threatening.
Much of this happens outside conscious awareness. That’s one reason you can know intellectually that you are safe and still notice your heart racing, your muscles bracing, or your body preparing for something that isn’t actually happening.
Why doesn’t reasoning with it always work?
When you’re under stress, your body can move into different patterns of activation or withdrawal. You might feel keyed up and ready to act, shut down and disconnected, or become highly focused on keeping other people comfortable.
These responses can make sense in the context of what you’ve experienced, even when they no longer fit what is happening now.
Understanding the pattern can help. But understanding it doesn’t always change what your body is doing in the moment.
Does regulated mean calm?
No. A regulated nervous system isn’t necessarily a calm one. It’s a more flexible one.
You can become activated when something requires your attention, energy, or protection, and then gradually return toward a steadier state when the demand has passed.
The goal isn’t to eliminate activation. It’s to have more capacity to move through different states without becoming stuck in them or feeling as though you have no way back.
What actually helps a state shift?
Often, it’s a combination of body awareness, environment, relationship, and repeated experience, rather than insight alone.
In sessions, we explore what actually makes a difference for you: the length and pace of your breathing, where your attention goes, whether you can feel your body supported by the chair or floor, how movement affects you, or what happens when we slow the pace of a conversation.
Grounding can give you practical tools for moments when you’re overwhelmed or disconnected. Breathwork can be one way of working directly with breathing and physical state, when it feels appropriate for you. Regulation is the broader work of developing more awareness, flexibility, and choice.
“A regulated nervous system is not a calm one. It is one that can move up and come back down.”
Anjana Iyer, Registered Psychotherapist
What will the work look like?
Mapping your own states
We look at what activation looks like for you and what happens when you move in the other direction, perhaps becoming flat, disconnected, foggy, or withdrawn.
Finding what genuinely settles you
We explore what actually helps you feel more grounded rather than relying on what you think should work. For some people that’s stillness and weight. For others, it’s movement, sound, fresh air, or something more active.
Catching it earlier
Many people notice what’s happening only once they are already overwhelmed. We work toward recognizing the earlier signs, when there is still more room to choose what happens next.
Practising moving through states
We work with small, manageable shifts in activation and practise returning toward steadiness. Over time, this can help build more flexibility and confidence in your ability to move through difficult states.
Testing it where it is inconvenient
The measure isn’t how regulated you feel with me. It’s what happens in your actual life: the meeting, the family dinner, the difficult conversation, or the message that arrives at eleven at night.
This is the usual order rather than a schedule. People move back and forth through these phases, and spending significant time building awareness and stability is completely normal.
Questions people ask before they book
What does nervous system dysregulation actually feel like?
It can look very different from person to person. You might feel highly activated, with racing thoughts, a jaw that won’t unclench, or difficulty settling into sleep, or you might feel flat, heavy, foggy, disconnected, or far away from yourself. Some people move between these states. These responses aren’t simply a matter of willpower, which is why trying harder hasn’t necessarily changed them.
Is this the same as anxiety treatment?
There is overlap, but the emphasis can be different. Anxiety therapy may work with thoughts, behaviours, avoidance, and beliefs. Nervous-system-focused work pays closer attention to the physical and emotional state you’re in while those thoughts and behaviours are happening. We may use both. If you can understand a thought perfectly and still notice the same reaction in your body, working with the body may add another dimension to the therapy.
Do I need to have experienced trauma for this to be relevant?
No. Chronic stress, burnout, prolonged caregiving, a demanding work environment, difficult relationships, or other periods of sustained pressure can affect how your body responds to stress. You don’t need a trauma history or a particular diagnosis for this kind of work to be relevant.
Is this covered by my insurance, and what does it cost?
I am a Registered Psychotherapist, and many Ontario extended health plans include coverage for Registered Psychotherapy, although coverage varies by plan. Check your policy or contact your insurer to confirm what is covered, your annual maximum, and whether any referral or other requirements apply. You can find more information on the fees and insurance page, or ask about it during the free 15-minute call.
Practical tools for regulation
- Grounding: finding your way back to the present moment
- Breathwork: working with breathing when it feels supportive
- Movement: using small movements to notice and shift activation
Other approaches that may be part of the work
These are the pieces that usually turn up alongside the work above, and any of them can be where we start instead.
Recommended by other therapists
Registered psychotherapists are not permitted to publish client testimonials in Ontario, and I would not want to. These are endorsements from other registered therapists, left publicly on my Psychology Today profile.
Anjana brings something rare to her work: a trauma-informed, somatic approach grounded in EMDR and genuine attunement. She holds clients through the kind of healing that goes beyond the surface. A colleague I refer to with confidence.
Blanca Alagon
Registered Psychotherapist
Anjana is a thoughtful, compassionate, and highly skilled psychotherapist. She brings warmth, professionalism, and genuine care to her work, creating a supportive space where clients can feel understood and empowered to make meaningful change.
Max Tkachenko
Registered Psychotherapist, MEd, C-EFIT
Anjana is a compassionate therapist who supports adults with anxiety, trauma, relationship challenges, life transitions, and burnout. She brings a calm, steady presence and offers a culturally aware space where clients can reflect and move toward healing.
Kamakshi Marwah
Registered Psychotherapist, MA, MSc
Can you see me where I live?
Yes, if you’re in Ontario. Sessions are held online, so you can work with me from wherever you are in the province, including Durham Region, York Region, Halton, Barrie, Guelph, Kingston, Kitchener, London, Sudbury and Thunder Bay.
All you need is a private space where you can talk freely and an hour that belongs to you.
What happens next?
A free 15-minute call.
No preparation, no obligation, and nothing to book during the call. It’s a chance to tell me a little about what’s bringing you in, ask questions, and hear how I work.
If you’d rather look at the practical details first, you can read about fees, insurance, and the other concerns I work with.